Do You Know A Showboater? How Showboating Quietly Damages Your Busines

Showboating is one of those things that’s easy to spot in other people and hard to see in ourselves.

It shows up as big confidence, big stories, and big “look at me” energy. On the surface, it can look like charisma or strong leadership. Underneath, it often quietly damages trust, collaboration, and the results you say you want in your business.

We need to talk about it.

What Is Showboating, Really?

Showboating is drawing attention to yourself through exaggerated displays of skill, confidence, or success, mainly to impress others rather than to serve them.

It shifts the focus away from:

• the work

• the team

• the client or customer

• the mission

and puts the spotlight on one thing:

ego.

Even when someone is incredibly talented and genuinely impressive, showboating can make other people feel:

• overshadowed

• minimized

• disconnected

When people feel that way around you, they might smile and nod, but they’re not fully bought in. They’re not fully honest. They’re not fully with you.

For a small business owner or entrepreneur, that lack of honest, engaged connection is expensive.

Do You Know A Showboater? Have You Ever Been One?

Most of us can immediately think of a showboater:

• the person who dominates every meeting

• the one who always has a bigger, better story

• the one who has to “one up” every win in the room

But here’s the harder question:

Have you ever been one?

If you’re building a business, leading a team, or putting yourself out there online, you’re already in a visible role. That’s not wrong. That’s part of leadership.

So let’s be clear:

• Being visible is not the problem.

• Owning your gifts is not the problem.

• Showing up with confidence is not the problem.

We actually need leaders and experts who are willing to be seen.

The problem is why you’re drawing attention and who it’s really for.

How Showboating Shows Up In Small Business

Showboating doesn’t always look loud or obvious. Sometimes it shows up in subtle ways that are easy to excuse as “good marketing” or “being confident.”

Here are a few common patterns:

• Turning every story back to your own wins
  A client shares a success, and somehow the story ends with your numbers, your journey, your brilliance.

• Over-talking in meetings so others can’t get a word in
  You’re so focused on getting your point across that you unintentionally steamroll the people you actually need input from.

• Dropping numbers, names, or metrics mainly to impress
  The focus is less on teaching or helping and more on proving you belong at the “big kids’ table.”

• Posting or speaking in ways that say “Look at me,” instead of “How can I help?”
  You show up often, but your content is more about your highlight reel than your audience’s real needs.

On the outside, these things can look like confidence.
On the inside, they often come from insecurity, pressure, or a need to prove something.

And that’s where it gets dangerous for your business.

Because people may give you attention for showboating,
but they give you trust when they feel genuinely served.

The Cost Of Showboating In Your Business

If you’re a small business owner or entrepreneur, showboating can cost you in ways that aren’t always obvious:

• Weaker team culture
  When people feel overshadowed or minimized, they stop bringing their best ideas. They “do their job,” but they don’t bring their creativity, honesty, or ownership.

• Shallow partnerships
  Other leaders might collaborate once, but they don’t come back. They may not even tell you why.

• Skeptical clients
  Potential clients might be impressed by the show, but they don’t fully trust the substance. They feel sold to, not cared for.

• Personal burnout
  Keeping up a show is exhausting. When your energy is going to proving yourself, there’s less capacity to actually serve.

From the inside, it can feel like you’re “doing what it takes” or “showing up strong.”

From the outside, people can walk away feeling small, invisible, or just tired.

How To Stay Visible Without Showboating

So how do you stay visible, confident, and present as a leader without slipping into showboating?

Here are a few simple shifts:

1. Check Your Motive

Before you speak, post, or hit publish, ask:

“Is this to serve the room, or to impress the room?”

If it’s mostly about impressing, pause.
You don’t have to silence yourself; just reframe.

How could you say or share this in a way that truly helps the people listening?

2. Share The Spotlight

Leaders who build long-term trust are generous with the spotlight.

• Invite other voices into the conversation

• Ask real questions and listen to the answers

• Name other people’s wins publicly

• Let someone else be the hero of the story

When your team, clients, or partners feel seen and valued, they don’t forget it.

3. Let Your Results Talk

You don’t have to oversell yourself when your work is genuinely helping people.

Share:

• client stories that highlight their transformation

• before-and-after shifts that matter to your audience

• process, not just praise

Let your impact speak more loudly than your adjectives.

4. Stay Anchored To The Mission

When in doubt, come back to the mission.

• What are you really here to do?

• Who are you really here to help?

• How does this conversation, post, or meeting move that forward?

When you keep bringing the focus back to the goal, the client, the team, and the transformation, your presence serves something bigger than your own ego.

That’s when your leadership becomes powerful and sustainable.

How People Feel Around You Matters

Here’s a simple way to check yourself:

When people interact with you or your brand, do they tend to walk away feeling:

• included

• seen

• inspired

or

• small

• invisible

• tired

You may get attention with showboating.
You build trust with service.

And trust is what keeps clients coming back, team members staying, and collaborations growing.

A Gentle Challenge For You Today

Think of one situation in your business where you feel pressure to prove yourself:

• a sales call

• a social media post

• a networking event

• a team meeting

Instead of turning up the “look at me,” turn up the question:

“How can I really help here?”

Let that question shape what you say, what you share, and how you show up.

The right people will still see your value.
In fact, they’ll probably see it more clearly.

At My Sexy Business, we believe your business becomes a lot more powerful when your presence points people back to the mission, not just to you.

If this resonated with you, share it with another business owner or leader who’s navigating visibility, leadership, and impact. And if you want a community where we practice this kind of leadership together, come hang out with us inside the My Sexy Business Community.

If you missed this short & punchy episode with Kim on The My Sexy Business podcast, you can listen to Episode #68 here

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To connect and find out more about Kim or how to create a sexy business for a sexy life, you can reach her and the My Sexy Business Team at www.mysexybusiness.com.

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Blog #195