Are You Hard-Headed or Truly Tenacious? And How The “Right Fighter” Slows Your Business Down

In business, we love to celebrate the person who “never gives up.” But not all persistence is created equal. Some of it is healthy tenacity that helps you grow, and some of it is plain hard-headedness that quietly keeps you stuck. Add in a “Right Fighter” tendency – that need to always be right – and suddenly your biggest roadblock isn’t the market, it’s your own mindset.

In this post, let’s unpack the difference between being hard-headed and being tenacious, and take an honest look at how the need to be right can cost you clients, opportunities, and peace.

Hard-Headed: When Stubborn Becomes A Boom Gate

Being hard-headed isn’t about strength, it’s about rigidity.

Hard-headed shows up like this:

• You dig in your heels even when the evidence says, this isn’t working

• You’ve “already decided” and don’t want to hear anything that doesn’t match what you believe

• You cling to the way you’ve always done it, even if the results are flat or declining

The inner script of a hard-headed season sounds like:

• I’m doing it this way because that’s how I’ve always done it

• I don’t care what the numbers say, I know I’m right

• I’m not changing my mind; they just don’t get it

In a business context, that can mean:

• Keeping a broken offer alive far too long

• Ignoring clear feedback from your audience

• Refusing to pivot your message, pricing, or delivery even when it’s clearly not landing

Hard-headedness usually isn’t about the goal. It’s about protecting your ego, identity, or sense of control. Instead of asking “What’s actually working?” the focus becomes “How do I prove I was right?”

Tenacious: Strong, But Flexible

Tenacity is a different energy completely. Tenacious people are just as committed, but not nearly as rigid.

Tenacity looks and sounds like:

• I’m in this for the long haul, and I’m willing to learn along the way

• The first version didn’t work, so what can I tweak?

• I still believe in the goal, but I’m open to changing the plan

Key differences:

• Hard-headed clings to one way of doing things

• Tenacious holds the goal, but stays flexible about the path

In business, tenacity shows up when you:

• Stay loyal to your mission, but experiment with new offers or formats

• Adjust your messaging after listening to your customers

• Change your launch strategy, pricing, or timeline based on what the data is actually telling you

Tenacity is strong, but it’s not brittle. It doesn’t need to be right all the time. It needs to move you closer to what truly matters.

Hard-Headed vs Tenacious In Real Life

From the outside, a hard-headed entrepreneur and a tenacious one can look very similar: both still standing after years, both still “pushing.”

But their internal posture is very different:

• A hard-headed person keeps doing the same thing, expecting different results, and stays frustrated at everyone else.

• A tenacious person keeps showing up, but is willing to change how they show up.

You can hear the contrast in their language:

• Hard-headed: I’m right, the world just doesn’t see it yet

• Tenacious: I believe in this goal, and I’m willing to grow and evolve to reach it

One grips tightly to their way.
The other holds the goal and lets go of the ego around the route.

Meet The “Right Fighter”

Now add a new character: the Right Fighter.

A Right Fighter is someone who feels a deep need to always be right. It’s not just about having a strong opinion. It’s about defending that opinion at all costs.

The Right Fighter voice sounds like:

• I know my clients better than they know themselves

• They’re wrong; they just don’t understand my value

• If they don’t agree, they’re not my people

There is a healthy version of “not everyone is my people.” But the Right Fighter is different. It’s driven by:

• I need to win this argument

• I can’t stand admitting I missed it or didn’t know

• If I change my mind, it means I was weak or wrong

This mindset makes it very hard to:

• Receive feedback

• Apologize or repair

• Change direction in relationships, on a team, or with your audience

The Hidden Cost Of Being A Right Fighter

Being a Right Fighter is expensive.

It can cost you:

• Clients who don’t feel heard

• Team members who stop offering ideas

• Collaborations that never happen because you need to lead or win

• Your own peace, because you’re always on defense

It shows up when you:

• Ignore clear customer feedback because it bruises your ego

• Defend a broken process with “that’s just how we do it here”

• Struggle to say simple, powerful phrases like:

  • You’re right, I missed that

  • I’ve changed my mind

  • I’m sorry; let’s try this a different way

Ironically, those exact phrases are what build trust and open the door to better solutions.

A Quick Self-Check On Your Patterns

This isn’t about shaming yourself. It’s about getting honest so you can grow.

Take a moment and ask yourself:

• Where am I insisting on being right instead of being effective?

• Where am I repeating the same approach even though the data says it isn’t working?

• When was the last time I said, you’re right, I didn’t see it that way?

Then flip the lens:

• Where am I actually showing healthy tenacity?

• Where have I stayed with something long enough to see it pay off, because I was willing to adjust?

Most of us are a mix. We have areas where we’re beautifully tenacious and areas where we’re a bit hard-headed or Right Fighter-ish. Awareness is what lets you lean into the version of you that actually serves your business and your life.

How To Shift From Hard-Headed To Tenacious

If you notice a hard-headed streak in yourself, you don’t have to abandon your strength. You just want to redirect it.

Here are a few ways to shift:

1. Separate your identity from your ideas

You can be smart, capable, and experienced… and still have a strategy that isn’t working. That doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you a human who’s learning.

2. Get curious instead of defensive

When something isn’t working, ask:

• What is this result trying to tell me?

• What might I be missing?

• Who could I ask for a different perspective?

Curiosity loosens the grip of the Right Fighter and opens space for better options.

3. Build in checkpoints

Instead of pushing something endlessly, decide ahead of time:

• I’ll test this for 30 days, then review and adjust

• If this offer doesn’t hit X by Y, I’ll change the message, the price, or the delivery

This is what tenacity looks like in practice: you stay committed to the goal but honest about the method.

Calming The Right Fighter In You

The Right Fighter is usually protecting something: your sense of competence, your fear of looking foolish, or an old story about having to prove yourself.

You can start to calm that part of you with simple practices like:

• Saying:

  • You might be right

  • Tell me more about how you see it

• Reminding yourself:

  • Being wrong about something doesn’t mean I’m wrong as a person

  • Changing my mind is a sign of growth, not weakness

You don’t have to agree on the spot. You’re just allowing another perspective to exist without it threatening your worth.

When you stop needing to win every argument, it becomes much easier to focus on what actually moves your business forward.

Buckets, Boom Gates, And Real Progress

In the Buckets & Boom Gates picture:

• Your buckets are what you’re filling: impact, income, freedom, creativity, relationships

• Your boom gates are what slow you down: fear, pride, overworking, perfectionism, and yes… hard-headedness and Right Fighting

Hard-headedness and the Right Fighter tendency can park you at the boom gate, arguing with reality.

Tenacity helps you:

• Look around

• Find a different route if needed

• Keep those buckets filling

Choosing tenacity over hard-headedness is really saying:
My goal matters more than my ego.

One Simple Challenge For This Week

To bring this home, try this:

• Pick one area of your business where you feel stuck or frustrated

• Ask:

  • Am I being hard-headed here, or tenacious?

  • What would change if I stopped needing to be right and started needing to be effective?

• Take one small action that reflects tenacity, not hard-headedness

It might be:

• Asking for honest feedback

• Trying a new version of your offer or message

• Admitting (to yourself or someone else) that something isn’t working the way you hoped

You don’t have to become a different person overnight. You just have to let go of winning every argument and choose what truly moves you forward.

That’s where your real momentum lives.

If you missed the conversation between Kim and Jill on their podcast Buckets and Boom Gates, you can listen to Episode #122 here

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Blog #168