Hey fellow entrepreneurs, welcome to the Buckets and Boone Gates Studio with Kim White, Jill Olish, and many other brilliant entrepreneurs. Determined to solve world problems for entrepreneurs, this community is changing how we look at the big things we do on our business adventure and sharing from their own lives ways to protect our time, money, and bandwidth. This show is designed for you, the entrepreneur, to hear behind the scenes stories of real business people across the globe and learn what is possible for you. Keep listening to join today's juicy conversation with Kim and Jill. Welcome to the Buckets and Boom Gates studio. I am Jill Olish and I am joined by the fab Fierce Kim White. There we go. I got my adjective for you, Kim. Kim, thank you so much for doing the podcast with me today. Thank you, Jello. So we were always talking about building a sexy business that actually supports a sexy life, not just destroys it. We're asked all the time, why sexy? Like we could have named the business anything we wanted to, but to me, I'm on a mission. I have had the unsexy version and I want everybody to know what's, you know, that you can have a sexy business. So today we're going to be defining what a sexy business really is and how to start spotting the unsexy parts in yours. Lovely. So Kim, let's start with What's an example? A time that you had a business that looked great on the outside, but felt awful to live inside. Oh my goodness. Well, this takes me back to a kind of a dark spot. I will say this. We, I, I owned an oil and gas business and one day, and it was a very pivotal moment in time. One day I'm looking out our office building across the lake, which was a beautiful view. Like we just had such a beautiful sunrise and all of the good things, like the things you think are very successful and very glamorous and, And I realized I had been at the office since before the sunrise and the night before I had been there since after the sunset. And I was feeling bad in my body. I was feeling bad in my mind. I was feeling bad in every way because I was putting in extreme hours. On the outside, everybody thought, wow. You know, everything is great. And in a lot of ways, it was like I don't want to give the illusion that it wasn't a good business and a good thing. It just wasn't sexy because I was the one doing so much of it. And I was the one that was paying the price because there is a price for unsexy. And I was paying that price. So I feel like that sunrise, literally that morning, made me open my eyes to the reality of the business was beautiful on the outside, but it was going to kill me if I didn't do something different. Sure. Like just hearing that you had, you know, the, the office views, you know, what business owner doesn't want their, that big old window in their office. Right. And this idea that it's so perfect and it just, it, it reminds me, you know, like behind the scenes, it's not like that. And it reminds me of when I first started out as an entrepreneur and, you know, yes, it was an answer to a problem that I had of what was I going to do with a newborn at the time. And I thought it would be fantastic. I get to stay home and raise my kid at home. And it's going to be this wonderful life that it looked perfect from the outside or seemed like the perfect answer. But then again, me too, putting in all kinds of hours because I can only work when the baby napped. So that meant I was working all nights or all early mornings and It was just crazy. So it was the first time I ever felt burnout. And never again did I want to feel that. Burnout is definitely a great sign of unsexy. Yeah. If you are trying to do something and it's a new mama, you needed rest. Yes. Like, honestly, that is something. But we also have to speak to the fact that we also understand the fact that You know, the reason we do what we do is we need some freedom, not only with our time, but we need freedom with money and we need freedom with bandwidth. We need freedom for all the things we talk about on this podcast. And so having confessed how we have felt in the past, I think it's a very, I'm going to call it a humorous thing to share why the name of this business is what it is. Yeah. um most people laugh when they hear sexy they think we're some kind of a like midnight you know midnight service or something and it's totally not that it is literally you know we we want to define it or redefine it for people is it's not hustle it's it's not the the glam or the constant you know extreme hours and it's not all of that sexy is simple enough to run on a bad day simple you know profitable enough to give you options a lot of businesses really have a choke hold on And that's not sexy. It's flexible for real life. You have kids. You get sick sometimes. You have aging parents. You have grief. You have joy. You have all kinds of relationships. I just think that that is a it's a broad spectrum of things that happen to us as humans because we're first. And when you don't allow for being human, all of a sudden you're putting shackles on yourself that you're creating something that is going to take away from your life instead of actually supporting and giving to your life. So I hope that that sexy definition like came out of that. I know that when I'm asked, well, why is it called my sexy business? I sometimes struggle with explaining because so many people are so used to the corporate experience of work. And it's like, trying to apply this idea of something not like that to a business it's sometimes challenging to get your words across but it's almost a lot easier to implement it because I might not be able to explain it in the best way but then I get to show people what it is that I actually do on the inside and they're like oh you get all of that done and still have all this time for other things I'm like well yeah that's the whole point of having a sexy business right so We're not going to gatekeep that. We want to talk about, well, how do we implement then? What is it that we do to make sure we're having a sexy business? So Kim, what do we do? How do we do this? How do we make sure we are implementing sexy into our own businesses? Well, for the whole existence of this podcast, we always talk about money, time and bandwidth. Those are some of the factors. But for this truly sexy definition, I'd like to concentrate on four things. So you can filter your business now or a business you create by these four things. So time is obviously a big one because you can make more money, but you cannot make more time. So does the time change? like that you're working on your business, does it steal or protect your time? The different things that you do in your business, is it actually, I'm going to say, is it necessary? Is it, you know, it has to be because sometimes we get in our mind as especially new entrepreneurs or new business owners, we have to do what everybody else is doing. It's not true. We'll just break that myth right here. But does this steal or protect your time? You have to put that filter over every single thing you're doing. money does this actually you know does it actually give me more revenue or does it actually just look fancy because we can make something very glamorous looking and i'll give a terrible example but i've done it before so we're gonna do it again that is if you're looking social media perfect So I'm only posting about my vacation so that everybody thinks I'm just having, you know, all this money come in or am I really showing both sides? Am I showing the side of, yes, I am making money and yes, I am taking this vacation. But what did I have to do to do that? There's a cost to everything we do. So money is another filter. Energy or around here, we call it bandwidth. Does this drain or nourish you? So every part of your business, every part of your life, you're literally asking that question. Business owners, we know there's some things we have to do to stay in business. You know, nobody loves to do some of the things. But if it's really draining you, is it something you can delegate to someone else? Or is it something that, you know, you can have a partner help you or there's a better way. That's what you're looking for when you're looking for sexy is there's a better way. So the last one is really, really important. And it's relationships. relationships are important. You don't want to build a business and get to the end of your life and have none of the people that you felt were important in your life there. They've all left because you didn't pay any attention to them. Like this is a very common scenario. And I think relationships is an important, question to filter through and that is does this cost you the relationship or connection with people who matter so if I'm building this fantastic business and I don't know my kids I don't think that that's a sexy business if I'm doing something you know that I'm I'm out in the spotlight and I'm getting all this attention but I don't know who my husband is anymore or I don't know You know, I don't have any relationship with other family members or other friends. Is that really what you're wanting? If it is, more power to you, but that's not what I want. A sexy business has to be defined by what you want your life to look like. I like these filters, as we're calling them, because, you know, and I saw something recently that made me question how is it that people are accepting this, but you have to give up something to in order to succeed in other areas. And I feel like this just eliminates us having to do that. when we are applying these four filters, we're not eliminating anything. We're making sure we're setting up these boundaries or boom gates, as we call them, putting things into buckets and really allowing us to, instead of putting everything into one spot, spread it out in a very, and I'm going to allude to something later, harmonious way. Like it's so much easier to To filter it in this kind of way, then put pressure on ourselves to thinking we have to get all of the things done all at the same time, all in the same place and not be able to still have what it is outside of this the way that we want it. bill of goods are being sold in most places and that is that we have to have all of these pieces for our business that are actually not necessary so i think that that's one of the you know things about using these filters is if it's taking your life what are you doing this for And that's what I had to evaluate that day with the sunrise. I'll just tell you, it was not an easy thing. It was not an easy decision what I did next, but it was necessary. It was necessary to have the thing I wanted. I had to really evaluate and filter everything. Sure. Like I took my number one priority, which is family. Obviously, that all happened at the same time as building a business, but had to realize, well, time, I can split my time up for the things I need to by setting up. Boom gates, setting up boundaries for my time, having time blocks. So that's one way to throw in that filter is looking at your calendar and figuring out how is it that you can use this filter of time for your business. Most of the time, playing on that word, most of the time we waste so much time in a day because we haven't got the right kind of plan for our day. Or we spend time that we're not present with our family or friends because we didn't have a plan of how we could finish what we needed to. And so we're not actually present with them. Mm-hmm. Those are some of the cues to look for in this filter is are you feeling guilty when you're with your family because you're not working? And are you feeling guilty when you're working because you're not, you know, with your family? So guilt is a signal. It's a thing to look for when it comes to time. Yeah. To see if you are creating something that's unsexy. Mm hmm. For the money part, I love that I learned through our masterminds, groundwork and fire at masterminds, simple sells, not the big old fancy thing because half the time people aren't going to be grabbed by that or drawn to it or maybe even understand it. So, you know, when you're spending more money, which is not actually making any money to create something elaborate that no one's going to buy, how is that hurting or helping you? So sometimes it's just simpler and more money making to put out the simple thing. So there's that as an example on money. But yeah, money is it's a tricky one to filter through. So I'll give another example too that's unsexy, we'll call it. And that is for money, if we're putting money out on fancy tools that are not actually creating income for us, if you're a graphic designer, you have to have certain tools. But if you're trying to make a flyer or something, and we've talked about Canva around here before, Canva.com, we don't have any association with them except we have an appreciation that we have them. There's a free account you can get even. So that's another example to me of maybe you want something that's on the fancier plan that's paid, but can you wait? Can you wait until you have more clients or can you bootstrap for a little bit with your tools? When a tool is effective money-wise, when you can spend money that helps you save time or makes you money, That's the question to ask for sexy. It doesn't mean it's maybe the fanciest tool out there, but will what you're doing help you move the needle in your business? And if not, why are you paying a monthly subscription for it? Or why are you paying an annual subscription for it? It really does filter through, you know, the question, does it actually make more money for you? Does it save you time, give you more life? Or is it really just something you want to be like everybody else and it's kind of fancy? Yeah. Yep. Bandwidth and energy is probably one that I personally struggle with because I like to work a lot. Right. So knowing that rest is productive is the key for me in life. really understanding my bandwidth and protecting my bandwidth. And I, I've learned that a lot, very hard lessons, but that might be something to take into consideration is getting over the guilt of you're going to have to rest because you can't always give all of yourself. But Kim, I know you put in rest times during the, the week for your calendar as well. And you're, you're actually have a we call it a bandwidth meter that we try to be aware of, are we going to have like a high melty day or low bandwidth day? Like what is happening for us during, you know, if we can project it, predict it in a way based off our calendar, we're better off in understanding the energy that we do take for the day. I love the example of my Thursdays. Thursdays are a very long day for me that I've chosen the time. But even though it starts really early, I bring my egging because I make sure I'm in bed, you know, the night before. I also have a scheduled nap time. So I have a nap every Thursday afternoon because I have the mastermind groups in the morning. We have website royalty in the morning. I take a nap so that I can bring my A game to the evening, too. So that's the only night of the week that I work is Thursday night. And it's because there's a very special group on that night that like I show up for. But if you're showing up haphazardly or, you know, with your Q game instead of your A game, you're not bringing your best. Right. people don't stick around for that. Yeah. And you're not doing a good job that, that leads to guilt and unsexy as well. So if you need to schedule in naps, that is not a bad thing. Every time you go to sleep, you get a fresh deck of decisions you can make to help, you know, do whatever it is you do in your business, in your life. So if, That is a real life example from my life. That doesn't mean you need a nap every Thursday afternoon. But don't be afraid to put some of those things in there to make it sexier so that you can do the things that you're wanting to do. Yep. And relationships. Our businesses and lives are revolving around all of our relationships. We can't forget about the relationships with ourselves, with our core family, with business partners, with community. It's a lot, but we also have to have, and I love how you do it, you have levels of access, Kim. And I think that's a fantastic way to look at what are those relationships costing you and who does matter most. Can you talk a little bit about that? I think who matters most is those that are close to us, like our kids and our spouses and our, you know, our families, our close friends, like the circles kind of start going out. If you think of a circle, that's your inner circle. I do think that, you know, Jill talks a lot about self-care and I think that's one of the inner circles is, am I taking care of me? It was my relationship with myself, right? you know is it intact am i am i missing that part but like your kids you can't just say hey look i'm gonna drop you off over here and in ten years i'll pick you up when i'm when i'm not busy Like, that's not how it works. So you have to think of those circles going outward of who belongs in those circles, who belongs in the open, complete, everything access to you. who belongs in the guarded area, and you have to keep going outward. So I have lots and lots of friends that I love dearly. I would love to be able to just sit around and talk to them and do nothing else, but that's not the life I want. So think about it in that way, is that relationship, is that connection, Is it I'm going to just call it. Is it appropriate for the plan you have for your life? When I was young and, you know, forgive me, ladies, still, I'm going to say that out loud on the on the podcast. I had some very close friends that we had kids the same age. they started fussing at me because I wasn't available to do things with them as often. And it got less and less. And I just finally told them, look, I have one shot at raising my kids a certain way. If I give that up to just spending all my time with friends, then I am sacrificing something I'm not willing to sacrifice myself. I will call you in twenty years if that's what I need to do. Like, I don't want to frustrate my friends. I don't want to frustrate. But I also have to be realistic in who does need my attention, who is going to get my attention, who I'm going to be present with. So if I've ever told you I can't do something, please forgive me. It's one of those things of I want to do a lot more than I can, but I found out something. It's crazy. And Jill, I don't know if you found this out or not, but we only have twenty four hours in a day. We need more. Right. Right. Half of that is filled up with sleep. So there you go. And I'm worth nothing if I don't get the sleep. Yeah. So we have these four filters and now we're like, okay, yes, it makes sense that these are what, you know, could make my business more sexy, sure. But what am I actually doing to make sure I implement these? Like, how am I checking myself as I go through my business against these filters that I'm trying to implement? So reminding everybody, it's time, money, bandwidth, and relationships. we have a sexy business lens so pretend like you are putting your glasses on so that you can see clearly what it is you're going to be doing and i think that lens is important because everything we do is run through the lens is this sexy or not I can tell you I have a long list of things that were not sexy. I didn't know how to do that in the beginning. So if you've got some things in your life that are feeling unsexy and overwhelming, don't worry. We're going to like talk through a little bit of things that you can do to start adding sexy and taking away some unsexy. Does this help your life feel lighter, more supported or more honest is a great question. Because if you are looking at your life and you're feeling overwhelmed and Why are you feeling overwhelmed? Now, life can throw things at us. We have to say that. You know, I was not prepared when my teenage son was killed. I was not prepared for that and not to be, you know, drastic. But that was a time that this doesn't almost apply to because it was so big. It, of course, was overwhelming. Mm hmm. But the other things that I had put into place that made it where I could handle and navigate some things, those are the things we're talking about. So I want to be very clear. If you have, you know, lost a loved one, that is not a time to be trying to figure out what sexy looks like. That's a time of getting through it and grieving and being, you know, okay. So I think a before and after is a really important thing. So before you say yes to anything, before you say yes, are you filtering it through that lens and saying, is this sexy or not? So maybe it looks like before you're saying yes to everything. I made so many cookies in my lifetime because I couldn't say no. And it's truly something I had to discipline myself on because if someone asked me to do something, the answer was yes, yes, yes. At what cost? Sometimes it was it cost me sleep because I couldn't do it until late at night. And then that cost me the next day. So you have to think about all the things that it costs you. I also had scattered offers, stuff that didn't connect together because I thought I needed to be doing all these things in my business. That was very overwhelming whenever you feel like you have to be the superhero for everyone in your life. So I think that that's another sign of the before things. And it's also the constant reacting. So something happens and I react to it. We just did a GME, our weekly Good Morning Entrepreneur show. We just did what the killer for creativity was. And I'll tell you on here, you get a little tidbit ahead, but the killer for creativity and solving problems is actually reacting. If your whole life has been reacting to something, you cannot do the things you could do If you can make a better plan, you do less things. We always want to add more, but the truth is less is more. Less offers can be very sexy. Simple sells. So does smaller things. Like if you need to go smaller, do it. If you need to be simpler, do that because that does get you over to the sexy side, we'll call it. After those things, though, maybe you have fewer offers. Maybe you have clearer hours that you're working and clearer hours you're with your family. Maybe there's more peace at home. And Jill, you like to call it harmony. I'd love for you to like speak to that for a minute. Yeah. As we were talking earlier, my balance is, I feel like I have to then have something done equally. I have to have equal amounts of my, myself put into say those four filters. Right. And instead with harmony, it's how are they working together to, instead of me trying to figure out how am I going to balance and equalize myself. Instead, you know, I might have more time in work these days because I have bigger time blocks, but I'll have more time with family on these days because I've set it aside and they're working together. When do I, you know, honor my, my boom gates, my boundaries of saying, nope, phone goes off for work stuff. And now my attention is fully here. And when I need to get done, like dinner and homework, and you know, sports, things, whatever else happens after work hours. So that harmony of also being allowed to bring things together, when is it appropriate to have Maybe my son involved in some of the things that I do for work. Or when is it appropriate for me to bring work with me where I'm with my son? So I get to have that flexibility then on my schedule, not because I'm forced to instead. no force in exactly it's about being chased not chasing other people and it's about choosing and planning not being forced into the things we need to do for our business i love that you brought that up jill yeah so that's the sexy part of it but so with all of that we gave you a lot we gave you guys a lot when you're listening while you're listening here today and it's it's hard to decipher to see like what can i walk away with right so we definitely want you to have a win today by the end of this episode so kim what is something that we can do today for a win so super simple but i will tell you i also know it's super hard sometimes Write down three things, three parts of your business that feel the most unsexy right now. They're draining, they're heavy, they're complicated. Write those three down today. Don't wait till tomorrow. Write them down today and circle one of them that bothers you the most. So that's your starting point. How do you solve that one problem in your business that can be changed to sexy? You can toggle it from unsexy to sexy. How's that? that's your starting point for building your own sexy business, which supports your sexy life. Love it. So we're going to recap a little bit too. Now that you have your win for today, something super simple to start with, although it can be very hard, but sexy business equals simple, profitable, sustainable, and life supporting. So it's, we want a sexy life. Not just a sexy business. They go together. You're going to use the four filters to start noticing what needs to change. And I'm going to throw this in because I've been thinking about the whole episode. Go listen back to some of our episodes about sticky note time. That might also be a good alongside to go listen to in starting to get some of these things implemented. Um, but also we want you to come back and listen into our next episode. We are going to be talking about confessions about how growth can wreck your life if you're not careful. So we want this sexy life, sexy business to help implement growth as well. not take away from it. So if you loved this episode, follow us. We're at my sexy business.com. We're on all the pod catchers, wherever you're listening, you can find us and subscribe, follow whatever it might be. Also a whole bunch of other places, especially YouTube, follow us along there. We've mentioned some things that we do on there, share it with one entrepreneur friend who needs a sexier business, not just a bigger one. And yeah, so that's what we got for you today. Thank you so much for listening in and we couldn't make this podcast better without you. So we hope to see you next time. Love y'all. Thank you for joining Kim and Jill in the Buckets and Boomgate studio for today's conversation. Don't forget to follow the show for future juicy episodes, and they can't wait to chat with you next week.
