Hey fellow entrepreneurs, welcome to the Buckets and Boone Gates Studio with Kim White, Jill Olish, and many other brilliant entrepreneurs. Determined to solve world problems for entrepreneurs, this community is changing how we look at the big things we do on our business adventure and sharing from their own lives ways to protect our time, money, and bandwidth. This show is designed for you, the entrepreneur, to hear behind the scenes stories of real business people across the globe and learn what is possible for you. Keep listening to join today's juicy conversation with Kim and Jill. Welcome to the Buckets and Boom Gates studio. I am Jill Olish and I am joined by the fierce Kim White. Kim, thank you so much for putting me in this position to host this podcast with you every week. I love how you hosted Jill O, so thank you. Oh, and today we are talking about the people who make a sexy business and the life possible. If you feel like you have to be strong for everyone and can't lean on anyone, this one is for you. Kim, this is such a crucial part of business that I think we can overlook. Do you have a confession about your support squad or a lack of one to start us off with? Do I ever? You know, I think one of the most dramatic light bulb moments, we'll call it, was when I realized that I had shut everybody out and was not allowing anyone in to support me. I didn't know how, I'll give myself that grace, but I still was choosing if I asked a question that someone might not think I was smart enough to do business. Or if I brought a problem to the table, was it going to look like I was a failure if I mentioned it? If I was having a bad day, if I shared that, would that cause me to look like someone no one wanted to do business with? You know, it just, it was this big wall that I put up, I will say. And I was so relieved when I started breaking that wall down. And let me tell you, it took time. to break it down, to accept the support that I actually needed because it helped me move faster. Like it helped me get where I wanted to go much more quickly once I let my pride like be torn down, my ego torn down, my things that I was holding in thinking I had to know everything or someone was gonna think I knew nothing. And so I think that's an important story to share, confession to make, because I think there's a lot of people out there related to me that feel that way. They're scared to have that support because what if somebody, you know, thinks or judges me wrongly or what if someone is mean to me about it? Because that's another possibility. People can be judgy, they can be cruel. It's all a possibility. But I'll tell you the good side was when I let go of that wall, I found out there's a whole lot more people that are amazing, that are actually supportive. There's my first confession of the day. And here's the deal. It makes you want to quit. It makes you want to just succumb to the burnout that you feel sometimes when you're doing it that way. Because it doesn't make for problem solving. So I started unbuilding that wall that I had put up. And I think that that is a That is something that started to change the view I had about a physical brick wall in front of you. You can't see through it. So once you start tearing it down, you start having a different perspective and a different view because now you start seeing things differently and realizing things. So I think it's really important. I think it's really important. And there have been times I haven't had support because I haven't found the right support. But that time in particular was all about my choices. It was me building the wall, not someone not wanting to help. I think for me, I didn't think I had support when I did. very beginning, like my husband is my support person. It's always someone I can, you know, talk things through with, even though he's not involved with the business, he's always been someone I can confide in about things. That was until I roped him in and dragged him into the business more. I made him write a book with me and then host a podcast with me. He's become more of that support. After I stopped, thinking I didn't have him as a support. So that's how I ended up shifting, you know, from feeling completely alone and like there was no support at all and whining about it to find out that I had the support all along. I just needed to accept it myself. So I feel you on those. Well, I think businesses can revolt, right? you cannot say that in your support squad matters. So if you're doing things that are detrimental to you, like leaving out your husband or building a wall, so nobody can hurt you or nobody can judge you. I think you're, you have to make that decision to actually support yourself by allowing that support. I also think when you're, in that mode of you feel like you're going to be judged or let down, let me just give you the end of the story. Let me go to the end of the book for you. You are going to be, you are going to be judged, but guess what? You're going to be judged inside that wall or outside. You're going to be let down by other humans because that's what humans do. Not intentionally, but we can't be perfect. We If you know that ahead of time, just put that as part of the equation. Tear the wall down anyway. Let you get the support you need so that you can actually build something that is impactful and that is, you know, something that supports your life. I say this all the time about A sexy business is to support your life. Well, this is a really good episode for that. If we're building a business that's tearing our life apart, it's not a sexy business. If we're tearing us apart because we're not understanding how humans operate, I think that that's a very important part. We are human first. Yeah. Support is like a secret weapon for entrepreneurs, especially when it comes to our confidence. So what are some of the types of support every entrepreneur needs, Kim? I think there's three main types, Jillo. I think that No one is excluded from this. Let me say that. I don't care if it's the highest business owner you've ever known down to someone who has an idea and wants to start. I think this goes across the board. I think we need peers that walk with us. So someone who's on the same journey we are or the same level we are. or at least similar. I think that those people are ones you can be honest with. You use the word confide you. I think that's somebody we can confide in. Sometimes they're online buddies. Sometimes they're mastermind groups. Sometimes they're coffee chats. They can look like different things or different ways of communicating but when you have that there is something very powerful about knowing you're not the only one and i think that is a just a very important type of our support squad um the other ones are mentors or guides they're ahead of you they're not walking alongside you as in they're in the same thing you're going through they're ahead of you a little bit so that you can see what the outcome is of what they're doing. So maybe it's coaches, maybe you're in a program or people who have done what you want to do. Those are people that, you know, they shorten the path. I love this part. They shorten the path and help you avoid certain ditches. We always use the phrase, we're going to get in the trench with you. We know how to dig the trench out. We know how to do the business stuff. So that's why we're in the trench with you. But maybe we're ahead of you. Maybe the mastermind group, you know, is the ones that are around you. But the leaders in your life, the mentors, I love that, you know, the term mentors. Those are the people who can help you get where you wanna go quicker and safer than if you did it alone. And then the third group, I think, is the personal and the sexy life support. They're the ones that are behind the scenes. They're your partners, your friends, your family, your neighbors. But it also includes like therapists, counselors, spiritual leaders, people who see you as a human, not just about your business. So I will give a funny about, you know, My husband is part of the business as well, but he is not part of the daily doing the things kind of business. And so we always giggle. I'm a verbal processor, as you can tell I'm a talker. And he'll ask me when I ask him something, he'll ask me, am I just listening? Because I need him. I need him as my partner in life to hear what's going on. and to help me work through some things that maybe my peers can't and my mentors can't. He's very important, but each one plays a different role. Each one of these kinds of support people. So your peers are the ones that are alongside you. They have similar things they're doing, similar stage of their business or similar in life, parenting, whatever it is. your mentors are the one that says you know here's the way to go here's how to avoid this horrible problem or here's how to not bump your head if you do this and your personal is you're actually you mean more to me you as a human more to me than whatever you're doing in your business Yeah. Well, we can build a support squad, but I'm not sure that a collection of people is good enough. I've learned through the years that we need to be intentional about it. The influence of others is important to the success of that support. So you can just have a collection of people and then just kind of fall short of really supporting you. so kim how do we build our support squads with intention i love that you bring this up jill because this is so much different than being a people collector i'm a people collector i love people i i love humans but that doesn't mean i should listen to their advice always and i love the quote about you should never take you know advice or feedback from someone who's not in the arena So someone who is giving you feedback about, hey, you could talk a little nicer to someone. You should listen. You should talk nicer. But if someone's giving you business advice and yet they've never had a business, I think that's a cautionary tale. I think you have to make sure in these three groups is the human that you're listening to. Are they a good human? Are they actually someone who you want to be like? So they have good character qualities. I think that the business part is they have to be a good business owner. You don't want to follow someone or take influence from someone who is actually doing bad business. And then, you know, just the peers around you, you have to be careful with as well, the influence part. Because if the peers are veering in a different path, let's say, than the intentional path you want to do, be very careful not to get caught up with that. So those are some, I guess, cautionary things. But make this very practical. Think about doing an audit. So if you did an audit of where you need support, and I guess this would be a support audit. You know, where are you strong? Where do you already have support? You know, I don't need another husband. He's amazing. I don't I don't need that kind of support. But maybe I need a mentor. Maybe I need to hang out a little bit more with people who are on the same level in business I am. Do you have lots of peers, but no mentor? Do you have a great partner but no biz friends? Where are you thin or alone? Like where does it feel like you really need support? So small steps to get that kind of support is maybe join a small group or membership you actually resonate with. And I'm going to put this cautionary thing out there too. If you join something that is not the right fit, just try another one. Don't give up. Ask one entrepreneur friend for a monthly chat. Jalil, I know that you have Candice in your life who I think is amazing. Even just a phone call of saying, hey, can we talk for half an hour? And having that on the calendar makes it feel like you are having more, you know, support with your squad. I just use her as an example because I think she's amazing. Yeah. Talk to your partner about how to best support each other. And this was one of the funny conversations that I was like talking about earlier. My husband kept thinking when, you know, when I would first give him all this information and I would be talking and talking and then he would wait for me to take a breath and then he would try to solve all that problem for me. And I had to tell him, I said, you know what? I don't need you to solve the problem because you don't do the business part like this. What I need is for you to hear me, let me verbally process and point out things that I'm not paying attention to. Maybe point out my blind spots, but he can't give me business advice that he hasn't done. And So I think that this is that, you know, make sure your conversation is, you know, sweetheart, I love you and I need to tell you all these things. But what I need from you is the listening and helping me with the blind spots rather than telling me business things that are not maybe accurate. I think that's fair for any family or friends. And sometimes it's as simple as getting help support wise, physical support, as in maybe you need a night out with your husband and you need to drop off. the kids or maybe you need to get someone to come in and clean your house every week so that you don't feel so um distracted i know if i have something that i need to clean i'm distracted when i'm trying to do business so i try to keep all that out of my line of sight at least like have someone come in if you can but i think that that is all you know those are just things of that help us, that help us with the support squad. Break down that wall. Allow others in, knowing they're human as well. Don't feel like you're a burden because you're going to give and you're going to take. So if you have a half-hour call with a friend to talk about business, you make sure you take half and they take half. That's a way to keep that fear of being like, well, I don't want to tell them because, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to drag them down or don't have that fear. Be honest upfront. Can we both have half this time? I think past experiences of being let down, keep us, keep us building that wall instead of tearing it down. And I'm going to tell you again, that people are going to let you down. That's what happens. because we're humans. You're not weak for needing people. You're human. The fear of being a burden is a big piece for me, because, you know, we have that fear. But I've gotten to have some pretty amazing humans around me who remind me frequently that I'm not. I think that's part of that intentional piece, too, of choosing who we collect to be part of our squad, that they remind you that you're not a burden, that they want to be involved in your support team. So we want you to not just hear what we have to say, but to be able to start doing something about it in your business too. Kim, what can we do this week or today? So your sexy homework for today is, I'm going to say equals one thing. I know that you guys are going to laugh, but this is every week's answer is one thing. But this week, think about, you know, the gap that you have in your support squad. Really literally look at it as you're building this team around you so that you can do amazing things. What do you need? What is it that you need? A peer support? Do you need a mentor? Do you need someone in your personal life? What is it that is lacking that you don't already have? Maybe you have two out of the three. Don't overlook that third one. Make sure you are hitting those different categories. And then reach out to someone. Maybe you have a friend that you've wanted to reach out to and you just haven't. Maybe there's someone that you can know look to for mentorship for coaching for whatever it is but send a message ask a question apply to do whatever it is that you're thinking don't just say yeah i've got a gap make sure that you're actually reaching out for some sort of support because most genuine but and let me frame it this way most genuinely successful people are very generous most of them like sometimes we get it in our head that someone who is ahead of us in business is not going to want to take time for us is not going to want to mess with us because they're busy the truth is they've figured out some things if they're successful and that's part of what looking around a successful person's life you'll find generosity in there So maybe that generosity is what you need right now. So don't hesitate to ask and be okay if they don't have time. Be okay to ask someone else, but get that started. I'm going to go back to the one thing. Where are you lacking and who are you going to ask? Who are you going to ask today? Let's recap a little bit. Sexy life and business are team sports. We need that support. Think about who is in your corner and who you want to add to it. You know, like we talked about, where are you thin on support? Who can you add in that space? And in... We want to invite you to our community as a place for you to find someone. That's the My Sexy Business community. Super simple to find us on the mysexybusiness.com website. Free to join. All it costs is your email. That way we can get you the link to get in it. And we have free things all the time for you to come and meet who's in there to see if we are a good fit. And if we're not, we totally understand because not everyone is a fit for each other, right? So we want you to feel... And we might have a suggestion of if you don't fit with us, we have another place. So just, yes, please keep trying. Don't give up whenever you come into any community. Yes. And if coming into the community is not the first step you want to take, email us because that's always another way that we are helping. available to be reached out at is by email. So we are always happy to receive emails from any of our listeners and those looking to chat. Has this helped you today listening in, share this episode with a business friend who could benefit from getting their support squad together. Next time we are doing a special episode of a recap of building a sexy business for a sexy life. And again, we want to say thank you so very much for listening in because we couldn't make this podcast better without you. So we hope to see you next time. Love y'all. Thank you for joining Kim and Jill in the Buckets and Boomgate studio for today's conversation. Don't forget to follow the show for future juicy episodes and they can't wait to chat with you next week.
